dungeon crawler carl #5

Art by Tess Stone. Drawing of Prepotente, a character from Dungeon Crawler Carl.

the butcher’s masquerade

Attention. Attention. The gates are down. The hunters are loose.
Run, Run, Run.

A lush jungle teeming with danger. Savage dinosaurs seeking blood. A fallen princess intent on vengeance. A mysterious, end-of-floor celebration for the top crawlers, dubbed “The Butcher’s Masquerade.” But that’s not all.

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Just when Coast Guard vet Carl and his ex-girlfriend’s cat, Princess Donut, think they’ve seen it all as they compete to survive in the galaxy’s most popular game show, the latest dungeon level introduces a terrible new threat.

The sixth floor. The Hunting Grounds.

As the remaining crawlers battle for their lives, outside tourists are finally allowed to enter the game, and they are ready to hunt. Among them is Vrah, a famed and veteran hunter, intent on collecting the biggest trophy of her career.

But her prey is far from harmless, and this season they are fighting back.

Welcome, crawlers. Welcome to the sixth floor of the dungeon.

Published feb 28, 2022

RePublished Apr 8, 2025

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Chapter 1.
Time to Level Collapse: 17 Days.
Time Until the Hunt Begins: 30 Hours.
Views: 512 sextillion
Followers: 142 Quadrillion
Favorites: 23 Quadrillion
Leaderboard rank: 1
Bounty: 3,000,000 gold
Congrats, Crawler. You have received a Platinum Venison Box.
Welcome, Crawler, to the sixth floor. “The Hunting Grounds”
Sponsorship bidding initiated on Crawler #4,122. Bidding ends in 45 hours.
Remaining Crawlers: 85,223
Remaining Hunters: 360
Grace Period begins now. All hunters have been transferred to the city of Zockau. They will be released in 30 hours.
Run.
Entering the Desperado Club.
I came into existence in a now-familiar office. The hooded figure of Orren, the grim reaper-like Syndicate liaison, sat at his cluttered desk, staring at me, hands steepled in front of him. I caught a glint of the glass under his hood. I knew there was a parasitic worm floating in there. A type of creature called a gondii, better known to the universe as a citizen of the Valtay.
The last time I was in this room was after I’d killed Loita, the administrator. This guy was supposedly a neutral third-party observer and fact finder, but based on recent evidence, I knew some of these liaison guys played a little fast and loose with the term, “neutral.”
Katia also sat in the room. It appeared she’d been here for a few minutes already, and she appeared bored. She was in her regular form. She looked at me and grinned, though I could see the worry in her eyes.
Donut: CARL, CARL, WHERE ARE YOU? WE DIDN’T COME IN TOGETHER! IT’S JUST ME, CHRIS, AND MONGO. WHERE ARE YOU! WHERE’S KATIA?
Carl: It’s okay. She’s with me. We’re back in the vice principal’s office.
Donut: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I NEED TO PICK A NEW CLASS!
“Tell your companions you’ll be joining them shortly,” Orren said. “This won’t take long.”
Carl: Have Mordecai help you choose. I’ll be there in a bit.
Donut: I DON’T LIKE THIS, CARL. WE’RE IN A LONG LINE WITH A BUNCH OF OTHER CRAWLERS, AND MONGO IS SCARED.
Carl: Donut, everything is fine. I’m about to get a talking-to by the liaison guy with the fishbowl head. Put Mongo away, talk to Mordecai, and then make sure you get everybody near you into your chat.
“As I already told your friend, you can only see and hear me, but there are multiple entities in on this meeting,” Orren said. “We have a representative from Borant, a few members of the Syndicate Crawl subcommittee, and a few additional interested parties listening in. In addition, there is a designated media representative. The media rep will not be permitted to report on anything that occurs in this meeting unless a law is broken.”
“Wow,” I said, turning to Katia, who suddenly had a sour look on her face. “All of this for us?”
She was about to say something, but the liaison interrupted her.
“Actually, it’s all for you,” Orren said. “Crawler Katia Grim is only here because she’s the one who had it in her inventory. We asked her if she considered herself the owner of the item, and she claims you are the true owner. She will return to the staging area now.”
“Wait,” she began, but she popped away with an audible crack.
Carl: Are you okay?
Katia: Other than a headache, I’m okay. Carl, I think I accidentally got you into trouble. I didn’t know what to say. They took the gate from me. I’m sorry. There was nothing I could do.
Carl: It’s okay. See if you can find Donut.
Katia: I see her. She’s chasing after Mongo. Be careful.

Glowing Reviews

One star rating depicted with skulls

blasphemy. the author takes certain subject way to far the main one being it’s disgusting use of the lord Jesus.

Anon

Audible reviewer

One star rating depicted with skulls

there is a 200 page light novel trapped inside this bloated creaking 800 page exposition monster.

medio m

Goodreads reviewer

One star rating depicted with skulls

Gd this and jc that. This author clearly has something against the Christian God. Even in his fantasy book he cannot stop mentioning Him… One thing is sure, this author has an issue with Jesus.

Nevin

Audible reviewer

One star rating depicted with skulls

The Twilight shade is rude, unnecessary, unprofessional, and a complete misrepresentation of the books…. Twilight was not erotica marketed towards adolescent girls. It’s upper YA/NA, and the characters are over 18 and MARRIED when they have only-vaguely detailed sex on-page. Jesus Christ.

Brittany

Goodreads reviewer

Two star rating depicted with skulls

if you don’t mind being waterboarded with exposition or the narrative flow of a toddler reading a book in a room lit by a strobe light, there’s a lot to like here.

Jesse

Goodreads reviewer

One star rating depicted with skulls

Terrible , never show anything like this again, I repeat never ever ever again worse book I ever brought you should refund my money.

gerald f

Audible reviewer